“Hi this is Lydia at PrintzFirst Tech Support. What seems to be the problem?” “What’s the problem?” shrieked the man at the other end of the line. “I’ll tell you the problem. My printer won’t stop making goddamned brunch.” “You mean it just keeps printing in an infinite loop?” “The muffins, the frittatas, they’re everywhere! They’re taking over my entire house room by room. They’re getting crumbs all over my beautiful marble floor. And my cats, they’re freaking out. I can’t even see the poor dears anymore. And the spinach quiche – don’t even get me started on the quiche!”

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