John Baba, head of the United Nations Security Council, reacted swiftly. “Look at his little boots,” he said. “And his helmet!” The messenger, a Vancouver Island marmot with a master’s in International Relations, was not a he, and was not amused. “My uniform is standard issue,” she squeaked. “Furthermore—” “Listen to it talk!” Baba yelped. The humans erupted with laughter. The marmot hoisted a tiny flag bearing the seal of the Marmot Collective. “Prepare to defend yourselves,” she cheeped, and marched out.

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