Dear Aunty Stanky,

Nobody will ever dance with me at parties. Could it be my flatulent knickerbockers?

Sincerely,

SOLO IN SANTA MONICA

Dear So-low –

Men are pigs, let’s face it. So you have pungent pantaloons, so what? Maybe your leiderhosen are laden, who cares? Frankly, you’re too good for these cretins anyway.

I suggest you stay home and enjoy a nice bubble bath…

Always your (very large, quickly spinning) fan,

Aunty Stanky