Dear Aunty Stanky:

Who keeps stealing my pens? I collect pens at my job; they get left behind. But still I had to buy pens the other day: I bought a 4-pack the other day–there’s 20-packs but I’m sick of crap pens–and I always put my pen back in the same damn pocket of my day pack. Yet I’m still down to one measly pen. Who is responsible?

PenT Up Rage Guy

Dear PenTy –

You know, you didn’t have this problem in high school.  I get it, it’s hard to go back to those days.  They were hurtful days, full of taunts and derision, loneliness and despair, but still… you always knew where your pens were, didn’t you?

Two words, my friend – Pocket Protector.

Always your (book and biro bearing)

Inky Stanky