Dear Aunty Stanky,

I’m a Ghillie Dhu (a forest fairy of Scottish lore) recently released from a mad scientist’s prison. 

The problem? 

I liked it better on the inside! 

Regular meals, no rent, a cozy spot out of the rain. I had lots of friends in there, including some green kittens who never write. (I presume their paws make it difficult, but still.) 

What should I do? Move back to the evil lair, or try to move on? 

Yours, 

IFFY IMP

Dear Iffy,

This should no longer be a problem. If what I know about fairies is true, you need the belief of others to survive. Needless to say, I don’t believe in you, and as soon as this is published, neither will anyone else.  (Oh, dear.  No one’s clapping for poor Tink!  Bye, now…)

Aways your (non-ephemeral)

Captain Stanky