Dear Aunty Stanky,

How can we dismantle the two-party system? People have been voting for politicians they’re barely on-board with for decades, then they go apeshit against the opposition and, even more so, against the independents to try to resolve their own cognitive dissonance and failure to implement structural reforms. This is causing a strain in my relationship with my Starbucks barista.

A SLEEPY SILICON STRINGER

Dear Sleepy:

One word – dictatorship.  Oh, sure, there have been many failures in the past, but only because the dictators themselves were flawed individuals and, as such, were unable to handle the power involved.  Someone closer to perfection, though, someone more like, oh I don’t know…moi, perhaps, would be able to control the lives of others in such a way that they wouldn’t even know they were being controlled.  They’d simply be happy to do my bidding and love me for it all the while.

Oh, and all baristas would be executed, so that problem would disappear as well.

Still your Aunty (Overlord),

Heil Stanky